Sunday, June 28, 2009

Hit Back

It’s the all too familiar feeling of walking down the street and having that creep in the corner ogling you. Being on a crowded bus where “squeezing in” borders on molestation. Having auto drivers staring at you, as if they have X-ray vision. Girls, we are violated on a daily basis.

The reason for this post is because of a series of experiences that have been compiled over the past 6 months of my stay in India. I realize that it has become an inherent part of our societal existence to understand and accept that males treat us like this.

Granted, many argue that in some ways it is our fault for dressing in a provocative manner (although most of us don't), I still feel that the disgust of being objectified supercedes anything else.

Hence, as a group of powerful, communicative women with great futures, I propose the “Hit Back” campaign. This movement strives to exchange shoes and cross the border to the other side. If a group of guys felt uncomfortable and violated by a group girls, don’t you wonder how they would react? This may not necessarily prevent them from the continuation of their behavior, but at least we can hope it will offer them some insight on the ways that we are forced to accept their behavior in our lifestyle. This can be achieved simply by attaining a sample of boys our age, and speaking to them about things that make them uncomfortable, or by reciprocating the ways in which they make us uncomfortable. One of the many problems however, is that of the “male reaction” as it is so drastically different from the female one.

Very obviously, this is a framework for a greater idea- an unfinished exploration into one of the many ills of society. So as your classmate and friend, I am reaching out to you for help. I would love to sit down and iron out the details- and perhaps accord this campaign the attention and publicity that it needs.

Think about it ladies- we can make a difference!!

11 comments:

  1. It was all too easy back at school, when there was a school van to commute. When I started to use public transport, no one really warned me about what I would have to face.. Those first few days were HELL.

    I got these disturbing stares... It was so uncomfortable. Then there were men who would brush against my shoulder purposefully. Annoyingly, this seemed a must for every man who passed by me. And things just grew worse and worse...My first few days out of the confines of my secure world spelt 'home', was rather devastating. I couldnt imagine the world was so different, and that I was so much more secure with my life back then.

    Today I wonder why I wasn't quick to react the way I do now, perhaps it was because I was still not ready to believe that the world was not all good. I understand the way you feel Gayathri. From what I've heard, things are not so bad in America.. It must have been the same for you as it was for me. Yes, its a male dominated world. It's time we change that. "Hit Back" might just be one of the ways we might intend to do it.

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  3. I am so with you baku... ive had enough of these conductors taking me for granted... and stupid jobless boys whistling and passing annoying comments... & shameless fathers and grand-fathers Ogling at me... and the man sitting beside me putting his hand in his pocket repeatedly so that his hand rubs against mine... and be made to feel out of place walking down a street..Oh... i could go on and on...It is "hit back" time... we must do something..weather it makes a difference or no...its worth a shot..
    I would really like to take over a street wit a huge group of girls and really harass boys/men walking down the street... give them a taste of their own medicine..

    NOT to leave out that most of the time eve-teasing is done just for fun... and even when girls are fully dressed in salwar-kameezes !!

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  4. Yay! Yay! Let's Hit Back :) .... Yeah i agree with Tanky Tandy and Baku and Ms. Knows-a-lot-of-Languages ... :) Seriously, its ridiculous that we have to mentally prepare ourselves for this kinda thing every time we go out. Its so not right! This campaign sounds good. We should feel secure in our own city/country/whatever. And Tandy's right, so often eve-teasing is just done for the heck of it; the joys of watching women squirm in discomfort. What idiots!

    So how exactly is this gonna work? What do we need to do? :)

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  5. Hey girls, I think its about time we hit back. I've had some pretty unplesant experiences myself ( as some of you know) and the worst part is when someone ogles at you or purposely brushes past you or worse ( God forbid) you not only feel extremely violated you start thinking if it was something you wore or something you did. In short you blame yourself when in reality its not your fault. Eve teasing has been a problem which has to be dealt with effectively and the way we can do it is by starting to stop blaming ourselves. We need stricter laws. But more than that we need awareness and though we're starting on a small level it can always become bigger.

    let's please make the streets, public transportation and public places safe for all of us.

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  6. This truly is what I have been waiting for. I've tried it before but unfortunately, I did not voice it to the right people. Thank you Gayathri for taking this initiative.

    When I was only in the 7th grade, I used to go to an eatery after dark to get some "namkeens" to go with dinner. That was the time I had few of the worst experiences ever. While standing at the counter to receive my parcel, a random man comes and brushes his "you-know-what" against my buttock! I was all too innocent then to know what that meant, I only thought that there must be less space! How wrong was I?! To top it off, the man was accompanied by his cronies who followed me all the way to my apartment (I walked since it's about 5 minutes from the specified eatery). Thankfully, luck was on my side that night, the watchman of the restaurant right next to my place (at the corner) was helpful enough. I told him that these men were following me with catcalls etc. He drove them off. I've never seen him again after that. I wish I had, I would've liked to thank you.

    So you see girls, this world is not devoid of good people, there only seems to be very few of them around.

    Let us first voice our concerns and experiences here before we make this a campaign. A campaign to free us women of all the atrocious behavior of the men of the world.

    I "Hit Back" at you, world!

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  7. The fact that we all have so many stories and so many traumatic experiences saddens me and inspires me at the same time. I realize now that we're much more united in this cause than I had ever expected.

    Many of you have asked how exactly to go about constructing this campaign- the truth is, I have no idea!!(Hence I reach out to you girls and your brilliant minds) We should have a logical, effective and proportionate response that can be measured. So basically- "help! I don't know where to start"

    O yes, and I agree with Naquia that perhaps expressing our concerns and experiences here will help us develop this better.

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  8. see... we could do a lot of things... but the question is how do we want to do it... do we want to have a awareness campaign sort of thing ? or actually make mobs n give the men a proper actual 'hit back'... make huge groups n harness men ?? start a movement !!?? Or what ??
    but i feel that just talking to people and spreading awareness is not enough... we must do something !! i dont exactly know what !! but we have to DO something...we also have to find the right medium/platform to voice ourselves !
    hmmmm... well my experiences ...some ive already mentioned...they are day to day problems that all of us face... ive had far more worse experiences some of which i would not like to talk about... Oh by the way... i would stay away from the wonderla wave pool...and stay alert on brigade road...some idiot smacked my ass on BRIGADE ROAD... i just cursed out loud and before i knew it my guy friends had shot off behind him...they got a hold of him and gave him a mouthful and made him apologize..
    hopefully it knocked some sense into him ...and he'll think 20 times before doing it to someone else!!
    we need Ideas..!!!

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  9. Well not much to give suggesions cause all r ryte..jus wanna share a lil experiance...i had lived 4 consecutive years in delhi,very well known for its unsafety..i wore all kinds of clothes,i travelled around the city alone,many times i went home alone late at night from my brother's house depending on my dress otherwise i spent the night there..i had slapped 2 men-lucky they didn't attack back..thanks to Almighty for protections n lucks..these dirty behaviour is part of a cruel man's character..luck is luck otherwise there's always a safety measure..dress accordingly with place and time..avoid walking alone in unsafe areas..better if you carry a pepper spray o' pocket nife..walk fast if u feel u're being followed..get yourself busy on a phone when travelling by an auto/cab(it scares away drivers' dirty thinkings)..when attacked make use of your sharp teeth..your untolerable sream,your elbows and knees(you know where to hit ryte???)etc etc...you do this and you don't have to take the pain to learn karate*
    Wink Wink!

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  10. i havent had a really traumatic experience till now(thank god for that)..but yeah the usual that we all go through is bad enough..they are disgusting people(the 1s that get involved)..i see no point in blaming the dresses or the time or the place...those are just the temporary,superficial aspects of this serious issue...why not blame they themselves who are responsible for these acts...but no,in this male dominated city ...or rather world,thats too much to expect...why blame the women always and advice them to be carefull...isnt it first if all very wrong of these men who engage in such activities...i do not sympathise with their "temptation" and i am sure no other women with enough self respect would..yes,we need to "wake up" and "fight back" in this male dominated male chauvinistic society...(but i must say not all men are like that as we all no)
    uff...wow...it was nice to vent !!
    for now astala vista babies !!:P

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  11. I am well informed of the ways in which men resort to dominate women. I still walk in city market where I get my connecting bus with my hands in fists ready to bash the shit out of that unlucky bastard who dares to touch me. I to have been in the same place many of you have been in.

    I will no longer call women victims of society as we have the power to change our destiny.

    Even though we are young empowered woman we accept various social evils present in our society blaming everything but our laziness to try. The perfect example is of my classmate who was walking down the road when a man grabbed her boobs and calmly walked away. She immediately reacted by wearing her burka and when I asked her why she wanted to wear the burka she confessed that she felt that she was the one who tempted him. Till this day she wears her burka everywhere she goes.

    There is still hope!! Another friend of mine while walking in the streets of city market was grabbed by the boobs. The man who did this started to walk away with such calm, not even a sign of worry on his face. As he walked away my friend took the cricket bat that was in her hand and chased him down the street while beating him on the head with the bat. He pretended not to feel the pain and continued walking.

    I have come to the conclusion that the only way we can fight this is by making women aware that they too can fight back. They have to learn to stand up for themselves only then can there be change. Even in a bus if a man is sitting in the reserved seats for women we must ask them to get up. Women are afraid to ask for their rights.

    I shall conclude with the fact that the worst insult for a man in society is being cursed by a woman. Let us use this and FIGHT BACK!!!! If a woman stands up in front of her children she will teach her sons to respect women and her daughters to stand up for themselves.

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